Well, the Mounties have let us go - they said we`d been really entertaining, and fully accepted we hadn`t been making lewd gestures, as Jean reported. They quite understood that we were only practising some dance moves, and waving our hands about was all part of the sequence.

I`m not too happy about my bobsleigh being used without permission. As you all know, I`m happy to give anyone a lift, but knowing Lyn, she was probably under the influence. There better not be any scratches on it.

I knew Doreen`s spare tarpaulin would eventually come in handy, but did you ask her where she normally keeps it? You`d be surprised if you knew.

It does sound as if Eleanor`s been handing her cake around again - she fed some crumbs to the snake, and it`s never been the same since. Still, she must be fed up with that awful hair................

Amanda was really funny with the Mounties - she kept asking them could she join up, because "they always get their man." Julie said if Amanda joined, she was joining too - honestly, that`s all they think about. Julie did a belly dance for them, but it ngot a bit tricky, cos she didn`t have a lot of veils. Doreen offered her a few bandages from the First Aid kit, but they didn`t go down very well, as Jenni said they made Julie look more like the Invisible Man. Still, the Mounties were well entertained.

Right, I`m off to polish the bobsleigh - hope you`ve all remembered the password, and for goodness sake, don`t have any more of Eleanor`s cake.

Kathleen x

No bobsleigh?? No snake?? Is there ANYTHING with which you lot can be trusted? It was bad enough when it was Jean and Doreen lacking responsibility, but now we have Lyn to cope with as well.......................

Eleanor, I`m sorry, but I have no sympathy for you falling in that icy water - you are becoming very easily lead, and you need to stand up to those who would lead you astray. You should stick with me - you know I`m a very responsible person. I can see I`ll have to find another mode of transport - tin trays won`t get us very far, and Jean`s wheeled commode has never materialised. She and Doreen are far too busy trying to attract the glossies with their pics of sparkling wellies and luridly fluorescent suits.

It`s very tiresome trying to make sure you all fall into line - when on earth is Barbara coming?? Really, she`s the only one who can keep Amanda in check. She wouldn`t drink so much if you stopped telling her every day was a Sunday.

Right, I`m going to procure a disguise, and go and find some proper transport. Please stay in the igloo till I get back, and try and stay out of trouble. I`ve taken the remains of Eleanor`s retirement cake with me - it might come in handy.

Kathleen x

It's the snake that worries me. Has she realised that it is gone? You know the carry on she has with the dram in her never mind the retirement cake!

Oh my word!!! Pull over Amanda's coat from the front of the igloo! What on earth is Lylie doing leading that herd of sweet cows with bells around their necks? oh, that one just lifted its tail in front of the igloo! Lyn, you know how you washed the ski socks and left them out to dry ? Well, guess what?

Sorry Lylie, WHAT did you say??? Escape on the cattle, sit on them or what?????

I know things have become a bit chaotic for you ladies but please take me back - I'm fed up to being a Mountie hussy - I thought they'd taken a fancy to me but they only wanted me for an extra hand to muck out the horses - when you ladies are 'en piste' in your glamourous outfits and planning a major barbecue by the sounds of it! H E L P!

Oh dear! Sad to report that Kathleen has had an 'accident', if that is what you call a brave attempt to conquer the ski jump while wearing pink sparkley wellie boots with over the top ski socks. Even Doreen did wear her skis, even if they did have lots of corks hanging from them. Don't ask! Oh all right then, they were from Amanda's medicinal wine bottles and it was best to display them so as not to forget just how many she has managed to need over the past few weeks. However, we now have Kathleen in plaster, Lyn is running amok chasing cows trying to push them onto a huge bonfire she has made. Julie has returned to the fold after her experience with the mounties but is already peering down at me from the Canadian flag pole. What is it about that lassie that she always wants to be climbing? perhaps we should try Nevis next? Kathleen would really enjoy that as we would be near to the distillery for a historical tour (with samples) . Oh my, what is this now? Jean, Mary and Doreen running down the hill with a group of mounties chasing them!!!!!

Eleanor x